Letters to fictional characters

Dear Trip,

I realize you're easy to channel because I understand being shy. However, you don't need to pick up my tendency to do mental jumps as you talk, because I think you've now confused the heck out of poor Katie.

Thanks,
your author.

Dear Colleen,

I do not need the ghost of muses past coming up and bothering me, as it is, I'm tempted to dig up the rest of "Every Family Has a Story" and rewrite it with all the NC-17 stuff put back in.

Thanks,
your author.

Dear Akira and Ibuki,

I do not speak Japanese, unless you want to know that I speak only a little Japanese and that I had breakfast in bed. I have not seen past 41 yet, fansubbing is only through 27, I can't write a story on your issues based on pictures and bad babelfish translations!

Thanks,
your potential author