Bring The Smoke (Kamen Rider Gaim)
Oct. 18th, 2014 12:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
estiroseI wanted this someplace other than my own archive (and I wanted to take if off AO3).
Takatora/OC, OC POV, featuring an OFC, Takatora, and Ryouma. Warnings for slight suicidal ideation towards the end.
Let me tell you a story. This is the story of a woman who chose to leave her own country for an unexpected marriage and who ended up helping ruin the world.
That woman is me.
My story, dear reader, starts when I was at the tender age of thirty-six. Seeking potential husbands in Japan was all the rage at the time, and there was an agency that arranged said marriages between up and coming young men in Japan and women from the rest of the world. Japan was trying to become less isolationist for the moment, and so non-Japanese wives were popular.
I was part of a small, loose coalition of women that were signed up not because we were seeking Japanese husbands, but because we wanted to keep younger women from foolishly marrying abusive husbands. Certainly, thirty-six was not old by any means, but it was still better for one of us to potentially get married than to risk a younger one.
The agency screened all of its female applicants, of course, and required some fees to be paid for said screening. But I didn't mind. I had the money, made the application, and went on their list. I was told that when a gentleman from Japan applied, they would be sent profiles of at least one random foreign woman. Sometimes, if the woman's profile appealed, she would be sent to Japan to interview with the young gentleman's family. Of course, if the man chose the woman, she was obligated to marry; she had no right to refuse.
This is how I ended up being married to one Kureshima Takatora. First I interviewed with his parents, here in America, and somehow passed. I am still uncertain as to why, as I am not certain that it would be polite to ask. I was flown to Japan to meet my possible future husband, and so I interviewed with him. And then I had one further interview in which the gentleman brought his twelve year old brother to see how we got along.
Dear reader, I had resigned myself to the possibility of getting pregnant and having children, but I didn't expect to be put in charge of a twelve year old while his brother was just starting his career and his parents were overseas. Fortunately, due to reasons I did not know about until much later, Takatora was not interested in starting a family quite yet, and so I was able to be on birth control for a while.
Takatora tells me that he chose me for my maturity and the fact that Mitsuzane, his younger brother, seemed to connect well with me. My age, despite me being far older than the typical Japanese bride, was not an issue.
We were wed, in a Japanese ceremony. Takatora offered, through a translator, for us to wed in a Western one, but I refused. I had intended to die without ever being married, and I had no romantic notions about being wed in a church.
His family paid for Japanese lessons, basic ones before I was to move to the country so that I may not be totally lost when I arrived there, and then continuing ones as I tried to learn how to live in a new way. Fortunately, the family was rich, but I still yearned to learn the language so that I could communicate with my new family. There were other lessons as well; etiquette and culture, enough so that I did not embarrass my new in-laws.
Despite this, my husband seemed pleasant enough. He was quiet and reserved, but he encouraged my learning, smiling as I tried out new words or finally started to understand things in my new country. He was gentle in bed as well, which is all I could have asked for. I am not interested in carnal things, but I did them willingly as I should.
After a while, I was introduced to Dr. Sengoku (Sengoku-sensei, as they write in Japan), a longtime friend of my husband's. Dr. Sengoku had spent some time in the United States and in fact spoke fluent English, much to my relief. There were several visits in which he and I discussed comparative mythology, in particular the various creation myths of the world. He was very interested in the fact that my grandfather was a pastor of some small church and I was very educated about the stories of the Bible.
I would not learn of the reason behind his interest until much later, dear reader, for which I regret. If only I had known!
Maybe had I known, the disaster that befell us all would not have happened.
It was a pleasant life. Certainly Takatora and I occasionally argued, and I did not entirely succeed in being a parent to Mitsuzane as his parents and brother wished I could be. However, Mitsuzane and I formed a bond of sorts. Takatora did not know of Mitsuzane's street dancing, something that I had discovered entirely by accident. I know that Takatora stressed education above all else, and had quite forgotten that part of being a teenager was to have fun and find one's place in the world.
Takatora tells me now that this is why he chose me, for I could do what he could not and see what he could not.
I slowly learned what I should not. Takatora my husband was often on the phone, talking of things that I doubted he realized I could hear. I knew that there was a catastrophe happening, one that his company hoped to stop, and that his friend Dr. Sengoku was somehow involved.
There were things that I didn't know at that time, either. That my new family's company was trying to make sure we would survive the onslaught of an alien forest - the forest called Helheim - and its fruits that turned thinking people into mindless monsters that they named Inves. It was why my new in-laws were less concerned about the continuation of the family and more that at least some part of it survived. At least, if all failed, Mitsuzane would have family to turn to, in-laws outside Japan. This was why the Kureshimas were so adamant that their daughter-in-law be from so far away that the family had a chance.
Takatora's people came into contact with the intelligent version of the Inves, finally, and despite some battles, were able to find their leader. I did not see my husband for several days as they attempted to convince Roshuo, the leader of the intelligent Inves, to stop the invasion of the forest into our world.
From what my husband told me later, Roshuo could have done so. But he did not. It was as if an outside influence was preventing him from just ending the invasion of our world.
I only found out about this when Dr. Sengoku figured out what needed to be done to stop the invasion... something that we would never have expected, and in my case, wanted.
There was a golden fruit in Helheim, and it belonged to humanity. Or, more precisely, it belonged to the ruler of humanity. I had not realized this, but Dr. Sengoku had long been in love with my husband, and secretly so. He suspected that Helheim held the fruit, and he fully intended to present it to my husband. He intended for my husband to rule, with him supportively by his side.
I would have been dead long before, but my presence in my husband's life amused Dr. Sengoku, and he found our discussions useful. Therefore, I was still alive when Dr. Sengoku found another use for my presence.
Of course, I discovered most of this only when my husband called me to his work place. Dr. Sengoku had absconded to his laboratory with the golden fruit, through what means I do not to this day know how. He had called for me - me, of all people! He requested my presence. Takatora thought, since Dr. Sengoku had called for me, then I had best appear.
So I walked down a corridor, and then knocked softly at Dr. Sengoku's door. He welcomed me in, and I inquired as to why I was there. He did not answer me directly, but engaged me in conversation about creation myths.
Finally, he acknowledged my interest. According to him, he tried to take the fruit as his, running from Roshuo and the other intelligent Inves. The fruit remained as energy in his hands, allowing him to do little more than carry it here. It was his hypothesis that he needed an Eve, but he wanted me to ascertain that this was what he needed.
I will note here that there are other myths that share some basis as the Christian Adam and Eve. However, Adam and Eve are the story I am the most familiar with, so I shall use them in my tale here.
I was not aware of the full significance of the Fruit, but I assured Dr. Sengoku that he would find someone who would play Eve to his Adam. After all, I had no knowledge that Dr. Sengoku was anything other than he seemed - a slightly awkward but brilliant scientist who only wanted the best for our world.
Dr. Sengoku nodded, picking up the Fruit as if to contemplate it. I gave him a smile, knowing that Takatora would be happy for his old friend. Standing up, I prepared to take my leave of him.
It was then that Dr. Sengoku pressed the fruit into my chest. I believe I let out a small scream and would have fallen over, but Dr. Sengoku grabbed my arm as he was attacking me. For a moment, I felt queasy, as if I'd had those noodles that did not agree with me at all.
The next thing I knew, I nearly fell over on Dr. Sengoku. I realized at that point that I had to get away before he forced me to give him the Fruit that now rested in me, but my body was heavy and did not readily wish to respond to my requests. I did not wish Dr. Sengoku to get the Fruit if he was to do so without my consent. I knew I had to get to my husband and tell him what his friend had done.
But Dr. Sengoku merely picked me up and took me to an examination table in his laboratory, attaching sensors to me. I was in no shape to fight back; my body was sluggish and I was tired all of a sudden. But I could not allow this. I would have to get out of there somehow.
I had not the strength to do so. I would have to use my mind instead of my muscles. I asked Dr. Sengoku to call my husband Takatora, for I did not feel well. I did not expect him to comply, but I would be expected to make the attempt. It was to my considerable surprise that he agreed, calling my husband and asking him to come down.
While we were waiting, I engaged Dr. Sengoku in conversation. He seemed fascinated by my condition, and certainly was not afraid to tell me that my body seemed to be dying. It was almost like I was having a rapid spread of cancerous cells across my body, but they were not cancerous, they were the new ones created by Inves metamorphosis. Or at least that is what Dr. Sengoku conjectured.
He showed me videos of humans who had eaten the regular fruits of Helheim. I pointed out that I was not gathering any leaves, even if - as we both realized - I was starting to glow a little with the golden light of the Fruit.
I informed Dr. Sengoku that if I was metamorphosing into an Inves, there were perhaps safer places to put me than his laboratory. After all, even if I was to retain my intelligence, I was aware that Inves tended to be strong beings and I am not the most coordinated of people.
Takatora walked in soon after that. He was most upset that I was prone, and demanded of his longtime friend what had happened to me. Dr. Sengoku explained that the Fruit had come in contact with my skin rather unexpectedly and my body had absorbed it. While he did not state it at the time, I knew it was because he felt that Takatora would feel obligated to take it from me to resolve things.
It was strange what I started to know without being able to know. It was part of my transformation at that point, not that anybody could have suspected I was anything more than a vessel. I should not have been able to understand the sheer amount of complex Japanese that the two were speaking, not in the condition I was in.
Still, I could. I didn't think about it at that time, dear reader, because I was too busy trying to get up without anybody noticing. I figured as long as I avoided disconnecting the heart monitor I should be all right. I knew that I might be too weak or unstable to do anything more than wobble very slowly towards the door, but the monitor was portable and I realized I could use it as a way to balance.
It was of no use, however, as I tried to get up. My body was simply too weak; this was someone else's fight now. I had spent quite a bit of time being lightheaded before I came to Japan, and I knew my limits. The clatter of the monitor stand as I released it drew Dr. Sengoku's attention, as well as my husband's.
Dr. Sengoku rushed to me as if he hadn't been the cause of my current distress, and implored me to lie back down. I ignored him and asked my husband if I could go home. Or at least I tried; my Japanese felt as clumsy as it had when I'd arrived to become Takatora's bride.
And then I fainted right into Dr. Sengoku's arms. It was slightly deliberate, reader, because I knew that it would distract him and allow my husband to act.
I woke up in a hospital bed, with even more sensors than I had been wearing before I collapsed. Takatora was sitting at my bedside, and while he was not holding my hand he seemed extremely worried about me. I smiled at him, because I didn't want to cause him pain. After all, even if I died, he could remarry, and if I became a vessel of the Fruit then I would be well-prepared to survive the invasion of Helheim. I didn't say as such to him, however, as I was still tired and I did not want to depress him.
If I had been thinking more clearly, I would have asked him to find a way to remove it before it was too late!
Takatora smiled at me, telling me that it was okay if I lost the ability to understand him as things progressed. Dr. Sengoku was banned from my room, but he would make sure I had the best medical attention. And a doctor who spoke good English. He clasped my hand for a moment before heading out. My new doctor, Dr. Takada, was an elderly man who actually spoke excellent English - he claimed it was because of an extended time in Okinawa, near the American base there.
Dr. Takada felt odd to me, for some reason, but I'm sure it was because everything felt odd. Still, did it really matter? I was either going to change, or I was going to die. Dr. Takada explained to me that he worked for Yggdrasill as a physician, and he'd treated my husband before for injuries. Now it was my turn.
If I wanted to be unconscious, Dr. Takada said, then he'd try his best. However, my body was changing too rapidly for him to make sure sedatives would work on it. I informed Dr. Takada that I would try to sleep without the use of these unsure sedatives, for I certainly felt tired enough to do so.
Instead, I gave my husband a smile, and told him that I was very tired, and was going to sleep. When I woke up - not if, I did not want him to start thinking about my death if it happened - I wanted to spend time with him in a way that didn't interfere with his work. I made him promise that he would make sure I could get a wheelchair and whatever I needed, but I wanted to be with him. It was selfish, I admit, but I felt that he would keep me safe.
And then there was immense pain from my chest. I heard Dr. Takada yelling, and then I fell unconscious.
Dear reader, I could not have realized what would happen next. I dreamed of my home, the place where I grew up, the house where I had melted crayons down the heater grates because I was a bored and curious little child. I was sitting in my parents' bedroom, with the floral ceiling.
DJ Sagara, the man who ran a web show about the street dancers, was sitting across from me, in my parents' horrid little yellowish goldish chair. He greeted me as Woman of The Beginning, and told me of my role. I was to hold the Fruit until I found a worthy person to give it to. Normally wars were fought over the Fruit, but with our world, it had been known to only a select few - and only one had made a choice on what to do about it. But I would select a man - for that is how our world worked - and then it would be our role together to decide what to do with the world - how to save it, or destroy it.
My mind flashed to all the conversations I had with Dr. Sengoku about the various mythologies. In them, the fruit could be destructive, or it could bring healing. Long life. I asked the dream what would happen if we chose to send the forest of Helheim away.
His expression became sad, and he told me that surely, the two of us would die for lack of the Forest. I told him I had had a good life, and I did not regret what I had done. He asked me if the one I chose would make the same decision.
I thought for a moment, and realized that I had no answer.
After the dream, I woke in the same hospital bed, but there were no monitors. There was no Dr. Takada, and only my husband Takatora was still there. I pushed a wisp of hair - bright, silvery-blonde hair - out of my face.
I started at that. My hair had been a plain, muddy, mousy brown before all this had happened. My father's family tended to go grey young; my mother's family greyed late. I had no reason to be blonde.
And then I remembered that I'd just spent an unknown amount of time with an alien energy fruit inside me. I turned to my husband, and asked him how long I'd been unconscious and where Dr. Takada was. It was only after a moment that I realized that I was speaking perfect, unaccented Japanese without having to think about it.
Perhaps I had survived Dr. Sengoku's plan. But then I remembered that Dr. Sengoku had planned for Takatora to be the Fruit's recipient. It puzzled me at the time, for I did not know of the man's attachment to my husband. There was no reason to share the fruit, no reason to do anything with it. If I was now Inves, I could live there in Helheim. It would break Takatora's heart, and Mitsuzane's, but I could do it if I had to.
Takatora said my name, and then touched my hand. He asked me if I knew what had happened. I lifted a few strands of hair up, telling him that I could guess. I'd survived transformation into an intelligent Inves, though means that neither of us understood. I suddenly told him that I understood everything that he hadn't told me, of the plan called Project Ark, of the desperate attempt to save all the humans Yggdrasill could. It would have horrified me more at the moment if I'd had time to react beyond the fact that I was now not human.
And then I told him about what I'd dreamed of, and what Dr. Sengoku had told me about the Fruit before he'd dumped it into me. About what he might have to do if I was right. That I should probably live in the Forest, as I was Inves now.
I could see the conflict in his face and in his heart. I advised him to talk to Roshuo about what could happen next; we could both go together. The Inves might understand better than we about what should happen next, what we could do to save our world.
He nodded, and then asked if I was comfortable with Dr. Sengoku examining me. He might have some insights, Takatora said, ones that might help us make our decision. Takatora would stay with me if I was uncomfortable.
I truly did not know if I wanted the man anywhere near me, but I conceded that he might be able to discover something that we could use with Roshuo. One thing I shared with my husband was a love of learning, and we needed all the answers we could discover.
So, he was allowed into my hospital room. He came with a rolling cart full of materials, and stopped in surprise when he saw me, mentioning how fascinating I was. He then proceeded to poke me, prod me, and scan me, all under Takatora's watchful gaze. I was indeed an Inves, and a most unusual one at that, it seemed, with extremely slowed biological aging processes. In fact, my readings seemed to fit more with the Fruit he had pushed into my bosom than a biological creature's.
I asked him in English who he thought my Adam should be, and he just smiled. I could read it in his heart clearly. He had wanted to provide Takatora with the devices to conquer the forest and the world, and he was not happy with the fact that he might have to use the Forest's own means to induce my husband to rule. Yet he had resigned himself to it. I could not fascinate Takatora forever, and Dr. Sengoku intended to usurp my place.
It made my plan to run into the Forest far more imperative. I did not want to force Takatora into anything, and I suspected that the Fruit would make him into a creature such as I was. I didn't know if I was prepared to give up my comforts to save the world, but I have to confess that I had some little survival training as a Girl Scout. I knew it had to be a desperate situation that my husband faced, and I was not going to make it any more difficult for him.
Plus, I figured it would be nice if I could stop reading peoples' minds, ad I decided I had started doing quite unconsciously. I am sure knowing the extent of Dr. Sengoku's plans was useful to my continued survival, but I perhaps did not need to know that Dr. Takada's daughter's name was Sakura and her brother Koji was a doctor in the United States.
Dr. Sengoku told my husband - and Dr. Takada, who had come back in - what had happened. Again, it was easy for me to understand him, no matter how technical it got, and I knew it suited his purposes to be honest about what I was. With that, he was escorted out of the room again, for my husband must have realized how uneasy I was with the man.
Takatora asked me how I felt, and I informed him that I felt fine. Now that the transformation was over, I was in good health, though it was hard to measure given my state. He then asked Dr. Takada if he could leave, and Dr. Takada gave me a smile. I sensed that Dr. Takada wished to talk to me about something, but I assured him that I would either alert him via the button on my headboard or ask Takatora to bring him in.
I think he meant well, reader, but I did not wish to involve any more people than I had to. I had the sense that I would remian healthy for a long time, and if I was going to remain in the forest, I had no need for the doctor's services.
Takatora took my hand, and I got up out of bed. I realized as I got up that I was not dressed as I had been when I'd left for Yggdrasill; I was wearing a bleached version of a dress I was fond of when I was a teenager. It was a simple sailor suit type dress, silk, faintly checkered. I examined it for a moment while my husband waited, and reconsidered my decision to live in the forest. My mother had always been fussy about me staining this dress when I ran about.
But we still had an alien to consult. We still had to find out what I was, and I needed more information that what was given to me in a dream.
I had never been to Helheim. I had never seen photos of it, I had never had much interest beyond supporting my husband's needs. And now I was going to walk through the place in a silk dress and matching shoes that were meant far more for Sunday services than a strange forest.
It frightened me, for sure, but needs must.
The route was familiar enough to my husband that despite everything, it was a smooth walk. My outfit did not get wet in water, nor did it get stained with mud or dirt. I suppose that it was a property of my dress being an extension of myself, as partially unreal as I was.
By the time we arrived at the ruined city and met Roshuo - or at least I met Roshuo - I was quite nervous. Takatora reassured me there was nothing to fear. And there was not. While Roshuo towered over the both of us, he did not seem unkind.
Roshuo asked for my husband to depart so that he could talk briefly to me. Takatora withdrew, assuring me that he would be nearby. I took heart that my husband was not afraid to leave me there.
I asked him what had happened to his people, and he told me, as if to warn me away from what they had done. It was not hard to avoid; I was a gentle soul and I could not see Takatora doing the same as what Roshuo chose. Roshuo affirmed the dream, that I was to give the Fruit to a worthy person, and that his wife had been the one to give the one to him. I asked him about the other choice, the one mentioned in the dream. He told me the other choice was to die, something I had suspected.
Returning to my husband, I shared with him what Roshuo had shared with me. I told him I was willing to share the fruit, but it would come with a price. We could choose to die - it was something I was willing to do myself but I could not ask him the same. Or we could usher in the invasion, making sure ththat everybody survived. It was his choice; I could not make it for him, I could only make sure he understood my own feelings on the matter.
He stared at me for a moment and asked if I truly wished for death. I told him I was not suicidal, but I would welcome it if that was what he would choose. He was silent after that, not speaking to me, and I had to wonder if I had done anything wrong.
It took him until we returned from the Forest to speak to me, and that was only to tell me that he would consider his options. His driver took me home. I wasn't sure what he would choose, but I would stand by his decision.
If he judged it best that he be given the Fruit to reformat the world, I would follow him.
I went home and took care of the household, supervising the servants and trying to take my mind off the issue. Certainly, the servants thought it odd that I had returned in such an altered state, but I assured them that I was just myself and to please continue on.
After that was done, I turned to my stash of books. I imported a lot of books because I read fast and I was continually desiring to learn new things. I knew that Takatora didn't mind.
I wondered, suddenly, how we were going to explain this to Mitsuzane.
Takatora arrived home before his brother, seeming more at ease than he had when I had gone home. I took him to one side and brought up my worries, and he said that he would explain everything to Mitsuzane before he talked to me about what he thought we should do. I nodded at that, and retired back to my little parlor to continue reading, figuring that he would explain things, including my new, startling look.
After what seemed like an eternity, Takatora came in and asked me to go to the family parlor. I did so, and Mitsuzane rose as I came in. This was not normal for him, but I suspect he was as surprised as I had been about my new look.
Takatora took my hand, guiding me to the couch. He told me that he'd explained things to Mitsuzane, who looked dazed. I don't blame Mitsuzane; it was hard for me to take things in as well. I reassured Mitsuzane that I was still the same person even if I looked much different.
And then Takatora told me and Mitsuzane of his plan to save everybody by transforming them into a form of Inves. It was not his first choice, he said, but better to transform everybody than to lose a single person to the forest as had happened before. It would be my choice, of course, to give the Fruit to him to see his choice through, but I could only agree to it. Not because I was powerless in this - though in a sense I was, for I could not change the world myself as far as I knew - but because I did not know how to fix things and I am a follower, not a leader.
Takatora then asked Mitsuzane if he could go to his room while we discussed the details. I sensed that he wanted to talk about my proclamation that afternoon. I asked Mitsuzane what he felt, if he needed time to deal with what he'd been told, and if he wanted us to wait. If he needed time to think about it, I would wait.
He said that he would like that. I asked him if he wanted to spend time with his friends while Takatora and I discussed the details. I would not offer the Fruit without Mitsuzane's okay. I think I surprised Takatora on both, but he let Mituzane go to spend time with his friends.
Once Mitsuzane was gone, I let Takatora talk. He told me that while he understood the need to sacrifice oneself for the world, he had not wanted me to be so willing to make that choice. I demurred, explaining that I had chosen to sacrifice what I'd known to come there - but I was happy to be with him, I assured him. I could not have chosen a better husband if I'd had a choice.
He seemed somewhat relieved at that, and asked me if I was okay with his plan. I assured him that I knew that the alternative was something that I could not bear, either. That we would have to work to save what we could. Even if it turned everybody into what we were, it would be better than nothing.
But first, we would wait for Mitsuzane to agree. Because he was part of this family, too, this family that would change the world.
I gave them both time, to consider. I let us all think about it. But in the end, nothing changed. We didn't have a choice.
I'm not so sure it was a good one, and I will apologize to the world for letting Helheim go everywhere. I know people rebuilt, and now there are new ways to cook Helheim fruit. People still look much as they did, and even if they don't die as easily they still die.
But still, I'm responsble. Takatora and I both are, for changing the world, for not realizing how big our change would be. Nobody knows, of course. Nobody looks at us and realizes that we are anything different, now that we dye our hair and wear contacts to hide the change in ourselves.
Takatora and I have decided not to have children. We have a world to watch over, after all, and we would be selfish to take on children of our own. It is a choice we have made, and while we regret it, we must live with it. For our planet's sake, for our peoples' sake, we must do our best.
Takatora/OC, OC POV, featuring an OFC, Takatora, and Ryouma. Warnings for slight suicidal ideation towards the end.
Let me tell you a story. This is the story of a woman who chose to leave her own country for an unexpected marriage and who ended up helping ruin the world.
That woman is me.
My story, dear reader, starts when I was at the tender age of thirty-six. Seeking potential husbands in Japan was all the rage at the time, and there was an agency that arranged said marriages between up and coming young men in Japan and women from the rest of the world. Japan was trying to become less isolationist for the moment, and so non-Japanese wives were popular.
I was part of a small, loose coalition of women that were signed up not because we were seeking Japanese husbands, but because we wanted to keep younger women from foolishly marrying abusive husbands. Certainly, thirty-six was not old by any means, but it was still better for one of us to potentially get married than to risk a younger one.
The agency screened all of its female applicants, of course, and required some fees to be paid for said screening. But I didn't mind. I had the money, made the application, and went on their list. I was told that when a gentleman from Japan applied, they would be sent profiles of at least one random foreign woman. Sometimes, if the woman's profile appealed, she would be sent to Japan to interview with the young gentleman's family. Of course, if the man chose the woman, she was obligated to marry; she had no right to refuse.
This is how I ended up being married to one Kureshima Takatora. First I interviewed with his parents, here in America, and somehow passed. I am still uncertain as to why, as I am not certain that it would be polite to ask. I was flown to Japan to meet my possible future husband, and so I interviewed with him. And then I had one further interview in which the gentleman brought his twelve year old brother to see how we got along.
Dear reader, I had resigned myself to the possibility of getting pregnant and having children, but I didn't expect to be put in charge of a twelve year old while his brother was just starting his career and his parents were overseas. Fortunately, due to reasons I did not know about until much later, Takatora was not interested in starting a family quite yet, and so I was able to be on birth control for a while.
Takatora tells me that he chose me for my maturity and the fact that Mitsuzane, his younger brother, seemed to connect well with me. My age, despite me being far older than the typical Japanese bride, was not an issue.
We were wed, in a Japanese ceremony. Takatora offered, through a translator, for us to wed in a Western one, but I refused. I had intended to die without ever being married, and I had no romantic notions about being wed in a church.
His family paid for Japanese lessons, basic ones before I was to move to the country so that I may not be totally lost when I arrived there, and then continuing ones as I tried to learn how to live in a new way. Fortunately, the family was rich, but I still yearned to learn the language so that I could communicate with my new family. There were other lessons as well; etiquette and culture, enough so that I did not embarrass my new in-laws.
Despite this, my husband seemed pleasant enough. He was quiet and reserved, but he encouraged my learning, smiling as I tried out new words or finally started to understand things in my new country. He was gentle in bed as well, which is all I could have asked for. I am not interested in carnal things, but I did them willingly as I should.
After a while, I was introduced to Dr. Sengoku (Sengoku-sensei, as they write in Japan), a longtime friend of my husband's. Dr. Sengoku had spent some time in the United States and in fact spoke fluent English, much to my relief. There were several visits in which he and I discussed comparative mythology, in particular the various creation myths of the world. He was very interested in the fact that my grandfather was a pastor of some small church and I was very educated about the stories of the Bible.
I would not learn of the reason behind his interest until much later, dear reader, for which I regret. If only I had known!
Maybe had I known, the disaster that befell us all would not have happened.
It was a pleasant life. Certainly Takatora and I occasionally argued, and I did not entirely succeed in being a parent to Mitsuzane as his parents and brother wished I could be. However, Mitsuzane and I formed a bond of sorts. Takatora did not know of Mitsuzane's street dancing, something that I had discovered entirely by accident. I know that Takatora stressed education above all else, and had quite forgotten that part of being a teenager was to have fun and find one's place in the world.
Takatora tells me now that this is why he chose me, for I could do what he could not and see what he could not.
I slowly learned what I should not. Takatora my husband was often on the phone, talking of things that I doubted he realized I could hear. I knew that there was a catastrophe happening, one that his company hoped to stop, and that his friend Dr. Sengoku was somehow involved.
There were things that I didn't know at that time, either. That my new family's company was trying to make sure we would survive the onslaught of an alien forest - the forest called Helheim - and its fruits that turned thinking people into mindless monsters that they named Inves. It was why my new in-laws were less concerned about the continuation of the family and more that at least some part of it survived. At least, if all failed, Mitsuzane would have family to turn to, in-laws outside Japan. This was why the Kureshimas were so adamant that their daughter-in-law be from so far away that the family had a chance.
Takatora's people came into contact with the intelligent version of the Inves, finally, and despite some battles, were able to find their leader. I did not see my husband for several days as they attempted to convince Roshuo, the leader of the intelligent Inves, to stop the invasion of the forest into our world.
From what my husband told me later, Roshuo could have done so. But he did not. It was as if an outside influence was preventing him from just ending the invasion of our world.
I only found out about this when Dr. Sengoku figured out what needed to be done to stop the invasion... something that we would never have expected, and in my case, wanted.
There was a golden fruit in Helheim, and it belonged to humanity. Or, more precisely, it belonged to the ruler of humanity. I had not realized this, but Dr. Sengoku had long been in love with my husband, and secretly so. He suspected that Helheim held the fruit, and he fully intended to present it to my husband. He intended for my husband to rule, with him supportively by his side.
I would have been dead long before, but my presence in my husband's life amused Dr. Sengoku, and he found our discussions useful. Therefore, I was still alive when Dr. Sengoku found another use for my presence.
Of course, I discovered most of this only when my husband called me to his work place. Dr. Sengoku had absconded to his laboratory with the golden fruit, through what means I do not to this day know how. He had called for me - me, of all people! He requested my presence. Takatora thought, since Dr. Sengoku had called for me, then I had best appear.
So I walked down a corridor, and then knocked softly at Dr. Sengoku's door. He welcomed me in, and I inquired as to why I was there. He did not answer me directly, but engaged me in conversation about creation myths.
Finally, he acknowledged my interest. According to him, he tried to take the fruit as his, running from Roshuo and the other intelligent Inves. The fruit remained as energy in his hands, allowing him to do little more than carry it here. It was his hypothesis that he needed an Eve, but he wanted me to ascertain that this was what he needed.
I will note here that there are other myths that share some basis as the Christian Adam and Eve. However, Adam and Eve are the story I am the most familiar with, so I shall use them in my tale here.
I was not aware of the full significance of the Fruit, but I assured Dr. Sengoku that he would find someone who would play Eve to his Adam. After all, I had no knowledge that Dr. Sengoku was anything other than he seemed - a slightly awkward but brilliant scientist who only wanted the best for our world.
Dr. Sengoku nodded, picking up the Fruit as if to contemplate it. I gave him a smile, knowing that Takatora would be happy for his old friend. Standing up, I prepared to take my leave of him.
It was then that Dr. Sengoku pressed the fruit into my chest. I believe I let out a small scream and would have fallen over, but Dr. Sengoku grabbed my arm as he was attacking me. For a moment, I felt queasy, as if I'd had those noodles that did not agree with me at all.
The next thing I knew, I nearly fell over on Dr. Sengoku. I realized at that point that I had to get away before he forced me to give him the Fruit that now rested in me, but my body was heavy and did not readily wish to respond to my requests. I did not wish Dr. Sengoku to get the Fruit if he was to do so without my consent. I knew I had to get to my husband and tell him what his friend had done.
But Dr. Sengoku merely picked me up and took me to an examination table in his laboratory, attaching sensors to me. I was in no shape to fight back; my body was sluggish and I was tired all of a sudden. But I could not allow this. I would have to get out of there somehow.
I had not the strength to do so. I would have to use my mind instead of my muscles. I asked Dr. Sengoku to call my husband Takatora, for I did not feel well. I did not expect him to comply, but I would be expected to make the attempt. It was to my considerable surprise that he agreed, calling my husband and asking him to come down.
While we were waiting, I engaged Dr. Sengoku in conversation. He seemed fascinated by my condition, and certainly was not afraid to tell me that my body seemed to be dying. It was almost like I was having a rapid spread of cancerous cells across my body, but they were not cancerous, they were the new ones created by Inves metamorphosis. Or at least that is what Dr. Sengoku conjectured.
He showed me videos of humans who had eaten the regular fruits of Helheim. I pointed out that I was not gathering any leaves, even if - as we both realized - I was starting to glow a little with the golden light of the Fruit.
I informed Dr. Sengoku that if I was metamorphosing into an Inves, there were perhaps safer places to put me than his laboratory. After all, even if I was to retain my intelligence, I was aware that Inves tended to be strong beings and I am not the most coordinated of people.
Takatora walked in soon after that. He was most upset that I was prone, and demanded of his longtime friend what had happened to me. Dr. Sengoku explained that the Fruit had come in contact with my skin rather unexpectedly and my body had absorbed it. While he did not state it at the time, I knew it was because he felt that Takatora would feel obligated to take it from me to resolve things.
It was strange what I started to know without being able to know. It was part of my transformation at that point, not that anybody could have suspected I was anything more than a vessel. I should not have been able to understand the sheer amount of complex Japanese that the two were speaking, not in the condition I was in.
Still, I could. I didn't think about it at that time, dear reader, because I was too busy trying to get up without anybody noticing. I figured as long as I avoided disconnecting the heart monitor I should be all right. I knew that I might be too weak or unstable to do anything more than wobble very slowly towards the door, but the monitor was portable and I realized I could use it as a way to balance.
It was of no use, however, as I tried to get up. My body was simply too weak; this was someone else's fight now. I had spent quite a bit of time being lightheaded before I came to Japan, and I knew my limits. The clatter of the monitor stand as I released it drew Dr. Sengoku's attention, as well as my husband's.
Dr. Sengoku rushed to me as if he hadn't been the cause of my current distress, and implored me to lie back down. I ignored him and asked my husband if I could go home. Or at least I tried; my Japanese felt as clumsy as it had when I'd arrived to become Takatora's bride.
And then I fainted right into Dr. Sengoku's arms. It was slightly deliberate, reader, because I knew that it would distract him and allow my husband to act.
I woke up in a hospital bed, with even more sensors than I had been wearing before I collapsed. Takatora was sitting at my bedside, and while he was not holding my hand he seemed extremely worried about me. I smiled at him, because I didn't want to cause him pain. After all, even if I died, he could remarry, and if I became a vessel of the Fruit then I would be well-prepared to survive the invasion of Helheim. I didn't say as such to him, however, as I was still tired and I did not want to depress him.
If I had been thinking more clearly, I would have asked him to find a way to remove it before it was too late!
Takatora smiled at me, telling me that it was okay if I lost the ability to understand him as things progressed. Dr. Sengoku was banned from my room, but he would make sure I had the best medical attention. And a doctor who spoke good English. He clasped my hand for a moment before heading out. My new doctor, Dr. Takada, was an elderly man who actually spoke excellent English - he claimed it was because of an extended time in Okinawa, near the American base there.
Dr. Takada felt odd to me, for some reason, but I'm sure it was because everything felt odd. Still, did it really matter? I was either going to change, or I was going to die. Dr. Takada explained to me that he worked for Yggdrasill as a physician, and he'd treated my husband before for injuries. Now it was my turn.
If I wanted to be unconscious, Dr. Takada said, then he'd try his best. However, my body was changing too rapidly for him to make sure sedatives would work on it. I informed Dr. Takada that I would try to sleep without the use of these unsure sedatives, for I certainly felt tired enough to do so.
Instead, I gave my husband a smile, and told him that I was very tired, and was going to sleep. When I woke up - not if, I did not want him to start thinking about my death if it happened - I wanted to spend time with him in a way that didn't interfere with his work. I made him promise that he would make sure I could get a wheelchair and whatever I needed, but I wanted to be with him. It was selfish, I admit, but I felt that he would keep me safe.
And then there was immense pain from my chest. I heard Dr. Takada yelling, and then I fell unconscious.
Dear reader, I could not have realized what would happen next. I dreamed of my home, the place where I grew up, the house where I had melted crayons down the heater grates because I was a bored and curious little child. I was sitting in my parents' bedroom, with the floral ceiling.
DJ Sagara, the man who ran a web show about the street dancers, was sitting across from me, in my parents' horrid little yellowish goldish chair. He greeted me as Woman of The Beginning, and told me of my role. I was to hold the Fruit until I found a worthy person to give it to. Normally wars were fought over the Fruit, but with our world, it had been known to only a select few - and only one had made a choice on what to do about it. But I would select a man - for that is how our world worked - and then it would be our role together to decide what to do with the world - how to save it, or destroy it.
My mind flashed to all the conversations I had with Dr. Sengoku about the various mythologies. In them, the fruit could be destructive, or it could bring healing. Long life. I asked the dream what would happen if we chose to send the forest of Helheim away.
His expression became sad, and he told me that surely, the two of us would die for lack of the Forest. I told him I had had a good life, and I did not regret what I had done. He asked me if the one I chose would make the same decision.
I thought for a moment, and realized that I had no answer.
After the dream, I woke in the same hospital bed, but there were no monitors. There was no Dr. Takada, and only my husband Takatora was still there. I pushed a wisp of hair - bright, silvery-blonde hair - out of my face.
I started at that. My hair had been a plain, muddy, mousy brown before all this had happened. My father's family tended to go grey young; my mother's family greyed late. I had no reason to be blonde.
And then I remembered that I'd just spent an unknown amount of time with an alien energy fruit inside me. I turned to my husband, and asked him how long I'd been unconscious and where Dr. Takada was. It was only after a moment that I realized that I was speaking perfect, unaccented Japanese without having to think about it.
Perhaps I had survived Dr. Sengoku's plan. But then I remembered that Dr. Sengoku had planned for Takatora to be the Fruit's recipient. It puzzled me at the time, for I did not know of the man's attachment to my husband. There was no reason to share the fruit, no reason to do anything with it. If I was now Inves, I could live there in Helheim. It would break Takatora's heart, and Mitsuzane's, but I could do it if I had to.
Takatora said my name, and then touched my hand. He asked me if I knew what had happened. I lifted a few strands of hair up, telling him that I could guess. I'd survived transformation into an intelligent Inves, though means that neither of us understood. I suddenly told him that I understood everything that he hadn't told me, of the plan called Project Ark, of the desperate attempt to save all the humans Yggdrasill could. It would have horrified me more at the moment if I'd had time to react beyond the fact that I was now not human.
And then I told him about what I'd dreamed of, and what Dr. Sengoku had told me about the Fruit before he'd dumped it into me. About what he might have to do if I was right. That I should probably live in the Forest, as I was Inves now.
I could see the conflict in his face and in his heart. I advised him to talk to Roshuo about what could happen next; we could both go together. The Inves might understand better than we about what should happen next, what we could do to save our world.
He nodded, and then asked if I was comfortable with Dr. Sengoku examining me. He might have some insights, Takatora said, ones that might help us make our decision. Takatora would stay with me if I was uncomfortable.
I truly did not know if I wanted the man anywhere near me, but I conceded that he might be able to discover something that we could use with Roshuo. One thing I shared with my husband was a love of learning, and we needed all the answers we could discover.
So, he was allowed into my hospital room. He came with a rolling cart full of materials, and stopped in surprise when he saw me, mentioning how fascinating I was. He then proceeded to poke me, prod me, and scan me, all under Takatora's watchful gaze. I was indeed an Inves, and a most unusual one at that, it seemed, with extremely slowed biological aging processes. In fact, my readings seemed to fit more with the Fruit he had pushed into my bosom than a biological creature's.
I asked him in English who he thought my Adam should be, and he just smiled. I could read it in his heart clearly. He had wanted to provide Takatora with the devices to conquer the forest and the world, and he was not happy with the fact that he might have to use the Forest's own means to induce my husband to rule. Yet he had resigned himself to it. I could not fascinate Takatora forever, and Dr. Sengoku intended to usurp my place.
It made my plan to run into the Forest far more imperative. I did not want to force Takatora into anything, and I suspected that the Fruit would make him into a creature such as I was. I didn't know if I was prepared to give up my comforts to save the world, but I have to confess that I had some little survival training as a Girl Scout. I knew it had to be a desperate situation that my husband faced, and I was not going to make it any more difficult for him.
Plus, I figured it would be nice if I could stop reading peoples' minds, ad I decided I had started doing quite unconsciously. I am sure knowing the extent of Dr. Sengoku's plans was useful to my continued survival, but I perhaps did not need to know that Dr. Takada's daughter's name was Sakura and her brother Koji was a doctor in the United States.
Dr. Sengoku told my husband - and Dr. Takada, who had come back in - what had happened. Again, it was easy for me to understand him, no matter how technical it got, and I knew it suited his purposes to be honest about what I was. With that, he was escorted out of the room again, for my husband must have realized how uneasy I was with the man.
Takatora asked me how I felt, and I informed him that I felt fine. Now that the transformation was over, I was in good health, though it was hard to measure given my state. He then asked Dr. Takada if he could leave, and Dr. Takada gave me a smile. I sensed that Dr. Takada wished to talk to me about something, but I assured him that I would either alert him via the button on my headboard or ask Takatora to bring him in.
I think he meant well, reader, but I did not wish to involve any more people than I had to. I had the sense that I would remian healthy for a long time, and if I was going to remain in the forest, I had no need for the doctor's services.
Takatora took my hand, and I got up out of bed. I realized as I got up that I was not dressed as I had been when I'd left for Yggdrasill; I was wearing a bleached version of a dress I was fond of when I was a teenager. It was a simple sailor suit type dress, silk, faintly checkered. I examined it for a moment while my husband waited, and reconsidered my decision to live in the forest. My mother had always been fussy about me staining this dress when I ran about.
But we still had an alien to consult. We still had to find out what I was, and I needed more information that what was given to me in a dream.
I had never been to Helheim. I had never seen photos of it, I had never had much interest beyond supporting my husband's needs. And now I was going to walk through the place in a silk dress and matching shoes that were meant far more for Sunday services than a strange forest.
It frightened me, for sure, but needs must.
The route was familiar enough to my husband that despite everything, it was a smooth walk. My outfit did not get wet in water, nor did it get stained with mud or dirt. I suppose that it was a property of my dress being an extension of myself, as partially unreal as I was.
By the time we arrived at the ruined city and met Roshuo - or at least I met Roshuo - I was quite nervous. Takatora reassured me there was nothing to fear. And there was not. While Roshuo towered over the both of us, he did not seem unkind.
Roshuo asked for my husband to depart so that he could talk briefly to me. Takatora withdrew, assuring me that he would be nearby. I took heart that my husband was not afraid to leave me there.
I asked him what had happened to his people, and he told me, as if to warn me away from what they had done. It was not hard to avoid; I was a gentle soul and I could not see Takatora doing the same as what Roshuo chose. Roshuo affirmed the dream, that I was to give the Fruit to a worthy person, and that his wife had been the one to give the one to him. I asked him about the other choice, the one mentioned in the dream. He told me the other choice was to die, something I had suspected.
Returning to my husband, I shared with him what Roshuo had shared with me. I told him I was willing to share the fruit, but it would come with a price. We could choose to die - it was something I was willing to do myself but I could not ask him the same. Or we could usher in the invasion, making sure ththat everybody survived. It was his choice; I could not make it for him, I could only make sure he understood my own feelings on the matter.
He stared at me for a moment and asked if I truly wished for death. I told him I was not suicidal, but I would welcome it if that was what he would choose. He was silent after that, not speaking to me, and I had to wonder if I had done anything wrong.
It took him until we returned from the Forest to speak to me, and that was only to tell me that he would consider his options. His driver took me home. I wasn't sure what he would choose, but I would stand by his decision.
If he judged it best that he be given the Fruit to reformat the world, I would follow him.
I went home and took care of the household, supervising the servants and trying to take my mind off the issue. Certainly, the servants thought it odd that I had returned in such an altered state, but I assured them that I was just myself and to please continue on.
After that was done, I turned to my stash of books. I imported a lot of books because I read fast and I was continually desiring to learn new things. I knew that Takatora didn't mind.
I wondered, suddenly, how we were going to explain this to Mitsuzane.
Takatora arrived home before his brother, seeming more at ease than he had when I had gone home. I took him to one side and brought up my worries, and he said that he would explain everything to Mitsuzane before he talked to me about what he thought we should do. I nodded at that, and retired back to my little parlor to continue reading, figuring that he would explain things, including my new, startling look.
After what seemed like an eternity, Takatora came in and asked me to go to the family parlor. I did so, and Mitsuzane rose as I came in. This was not normal for him, but I suspect he was as surprised as I had been about my new look.
Takatora took my hand, guiding me to the couch. He told me that he'd explained things to Mitsuzane, who looked dazed. I don't blame Mitsuzane; it was hard for me to take things in as well. I reassured Mitsuzane that I was still the same person even if I looked much different.
And then Takatora told me and Mitsuzane of his plan to save everybody by transforming them into a form of Inves. It was not his first choice, he said, but better to transform everybody than to lose a single person to the forest as had happened before. It would be my choice, of course, to give the Fruit to him to see his choice through, but I could only agree to it. Not because I was powerless in this - though in a sense I was, for I could not change the world myself as far as I knew - but because I did not know how to fix things and I am a follower, not a leader.
Takatora then asked Mitsuzane if he could go to his room while we discussed the details. I sensed that he wanted to talk about my proclamation that afternoon. I asked Mitsuzane what he felt, if he needed time to deal with what he'd been told, and if he wanted us to wait. If he needed time to think about it, I would wait.
He said that he would like that. I asked him if he wanted to spend time with his friends while Takatora and I discussed the details. I would not offer the Fruit without Mitsuzane's okay. I think I surprised Takatora on both, but he let Mituzane go to spend time with his friends.
Once Mitsuzane was gone, I let Takatora talk. He told me that while he understood the need to sacrifice oneself for the world, he had not wanted me to be so willing to make that choice. I demurred, explaining that I had chosen to sacrifice what I'd known to come there - but I was happy to be with him, I assured him. I could not have chosen a better husband if I'd had a choice.
He seemed somewhat relieved at that, and asked me if I was okay with his plan. I assured him that I knew that the alternative was something that I could not bear, either. That we would have to work to save what we could. Even if it turned everybody into what we were, it would be better than nothing.
But first, we would wait for Mitsuzane to agree. Because he was part of this family, too, this family that would change the world.
I gave them both time, to consider. I let us all think about it. But in the end, nothing changed. We didn't have a choice.
I'm not so sure it was a good one, and I will apologize to the world for letting Helheim go everywhere. I know people rebuilt, and now there are new ways to cook Helheim fruit. People still look much as they did, and even if they don't die as easily they still die.
But still, I'm responsble. Takatora and I both are, for changing the world, for not realizing how big our change would be. Nobody knows, of course. Nobody looks at us and realizes that we are anything different, now that we dye our hair and wear contacts to hide the change in ourselves.
Takatora and I have decided not to have children. We have a world to watch over, after all, and we would be selfish to take on children of our own. It is a choice we have made, and while we regret it, we must live with it. For our planet's sake, for our peoples' sake, we must do our best.
