estirose: A pixel portrait of a woman (Natsuki Sad)
[personal profile] estirose
CFUD-based, Mio-focus fic. Depressing as all get out, but demanded to be written. (Writer is fine, character is very, very depressed.)

Summary: She's been down this path before.
Rating: 13+ for ideation


Moving Towards Death
by Estirose
c 2009

She knew how to do it, this time.

If she didn't move around much, slept as much as she could, she could fool Sagarc, and if she could fool Sagarc, she could fool Taiga-san.

Despite the former Queen's opinion of her, Mio wanted to hurt Wataru-san and Taiga-san as little as possible. She hadn't told Wataru-san that she'd broken their very tentative engagement; he was likely to argue and haul her back and argue the whole thing with his mother. Same with Taiga; if he knew, he'd certainly do much the same and then her in-laws would hate her more.

She was starving, but she didn't dare go to Peter-san. Taiga would assume she was fine unless she gave him reason to believe otherwise. She wished she could keep going to Salieri-sensei's lessons, but her predecessor had no doubt poisoned the composer's mind about her, and she couldn't do with another rejection. Wataru-san had Ryoutarou-san, and Taiga-san had Kamishiro-san, at least until he found his new Queen. They'd be fine without her.

She knew how long it would take her to starve to death. She just had to keep going, keep practicing and staying in her cave and avoiding people until she became fragile enough to shatter. Maybe Taiga-san would do something beautiful with her shards, like he'd done with Wataru's in her dream.

In any case, she'd just have to keep going. Keep isolating herself. Keep starving herself. It would be unpleasant, but she would not fail at this. She wouldn't be a pain, a failure, for anyone anymore.

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