(no subject)

[estirose]

I think it won't surprise anyone, after my last post on the subject, that I'm tired of FFN. Generally positive reviews aside, I meditated about it and I am coming to the point in my life where I have to drop some things and pick up others. And given the technical issues and some of the people on the site, I'm gradually winnowing down the fics I have there and apart from one fic, not posting any more under Estirose. (I'll save the reviews on those fics that have them, if they matter to me.)

I've obligated myself to finish "Doing It For You" under GraVirTy, but I'm abandoning that name after that. (And backing up the fics to AO3/my personal archive besides).

So, barring changes, these are the fics that will stay under Estirose:
Better to Ask Forgiveness
Building Family
Camping, Again
Easier to Hide
Harder to be Brave
Holding Boxes
If You Know What To Look For
Over The Borderline
Sunrises Sunsets and Precut Muffins
Terolalaine
Unburdening Oneself (new fic, see below)


I know it'll surprise some people about what didn't get on the list. Where is "Versal and Marginalia"? Where is "Losing Touch"? Where are the "Inside Out" fics, the oldest fics I have on there?

With a lot of what I was doing, it wasn't easy. I've been on the site for ten years, and I've accumulated my share of fics. I have my share of readers. 38 people get an alert when I've posted something. If I hadn't hit that final straw, I wouldn't be leaving.

I sat down and thought of what fics should stay to represent me, and which shouldn't. Which meant the most to me, what sample of them would be left. Which ones I wasn't ready to take off. A lot of my reasoning was sentimental, some of it was practical.

"Better to Ask Forgiveness" and "Camping Again" are there because I wanted my legacy to represent, at least a little, the diversity of my fandoms. In this case, they were for the Japanese Drama Hana Yori Dango and the game Final Fantasy II. There were others that I could have chosen, like "But Together" (Forever Knight, an old fandom of mine) or "Dissemblement" (Earth: Final Conflict, also an old fandom), but these were more recent and I have to admit that I've been meaning to remove "Dissemblement" for years. (I love the fact, however, that someone wrote me a review four years after I posted "Dissemblement" to say how much they liked it.) I also could have left Versal and Marginalia, and it probably will be the last to go, but I had posted it as an experiment and I'm pretty much done with that.

I talked to tptigger about our co-writes, and she okayed removing them if I felt I had to. But "Building Family" is probably the story that people remember of ours on the site, and I wanted to preserve that. People do remember the "Inside Out" series, but they remember "Building Family" better. I debated about "If You Know What To Look For", but I felt that if I was keeping "Building Family", I should keep it because it is in many ways part of that storyline.

"Over The Borderline" and "Terolalaine" (PRTF and PRRPM respectively) were experimental fics I want to keep because they show off my natural weirdness so well, my desire to experiment. They are some of my most untraditional fic, and I wanted to keep them there.

I'm also including the entirety of the "Harder to be Brave" storyline as posted on ffn. (I'm posting one more fic, "Unburdening Oneself", because it's the coda to that storyline.) This is less for sentimental reasons than the fact that I hope that someone feeling suicidal looks at the resources on the ends of some of the fics, or at least reads the series, and reaches out for help.