estirose

I wanted to review the entirety of Kamen Rider Blade, with a focus on Kenzaki. So here's 30 drabbles in his POV. The rating is 8+. Word count is 3000. Oh, and spoilers for the entire series.

Summary: Kenzaki goes through a lot in a year.

Seasons Changing, People Changing
by EstiRose
c 2009

What if Tachibana was right?

Kenzaki stared at the ceiling, recalling their last conversation. The Undead had beaten Tachibana like he was nothing, and if anything could be said about Tachibana, he wasn't a nothing.

So... if Tachibana's body was falling apart, how soon would his? Tachibana had had the System longer than Kenzaki had; how long did he have, before he started failing, before the System killed him?

Kenzaki rubbed his hand against his head. He wanted to be a Rider. He wanted to save the world. He wanted to do his job.

But what if it killed him?

--

Kenzaki had never had people worry about him, not friends. He was always the person who worried about others, who wanted to be a hero, who wanted to save the world.

He'd always been the outsider, the too-eager boy who was close to nobody, the orphan who was pitied but never really loved, but Kenzaki had somehow never gotten bitter about it because maybe there was a reason why he wasn't loved.

But now people loved him. People cared about him. People liked him, knew him and encouraged him to save the world. And the worried about him, too.

--

When Amane-chan had asked him about his parents, he couldn't help but remember. Remember how they were standing there, screaming, caught up in the fire and not able to get out. How he'd been stuck there, screaming their names, hoping that by some miracle that they'd be saved by the firemen.

The fact that he'd been eleven hadn't mattered. He should have been able to save them. He should have been a better son to them, saved them. But they were dead now, and all he could do in the cave was apologize and hope to earn their forgiveness.

--

Kenzaki had sworn he'd protect others. Sometimes that meant making mistakes.

Mistakes like hiding Hajime's true self. He was confused, after all. Something in him wanted to fight Hajime until one or the other of them was gone. And other parts of him said that Hajime was good for Kotarou's family. So he'd waited to tell because he didn't know what to say.

But he swore an oath to himself. To not fight until he needed to, to save people. Because within him was that urge that he didn't want to give in to. Because he was not a savage.

--

Hajime was really irritating him. First, he'd thought Hajime was good for Amane-chan and her mother, but then he'd disappeared. Vanished. And then Kenzaki found him again, at the scene of a kidnapping, an Undead kidnapping a baseball coach.

What if he'd been wrong? What if Hajime had been responsible?

But he trusted Hajime when Hajime said he hadn't. Maybe he was the kind of person Kotarou liked, the one who was betrayed a thousand times and yet didn't betray.

He tried to get Hajime to go back, because Amane-chan needed Hajime. But Hajime wouldn't. And Kenzaki couldn't.

--

Kenzaki usually wasn't feeling mysterious. But when he'd saved the boy from the Lion Undead, and the boy had asked who he was, he'd smiled and driven off. It was a great feeling, to save people, and they didn't even have to know who he was.

In some ways, he preferred it that way. He liked people not knowing who saved them, because knowing who he was wasn't important. The fact that they were saved was.

Now, if he could only get other people to understand that they didn't need to know, that being saved was the only important thing.

--

Despite what he'd said to Hajime, he could never leave him be, alone, injured. What he'd said to the others was true: Hajime was different. And Kenzaki could not leave an injured person, green blood or no, to suffer.

After all, he didn't need help... okay, most of the time. He'd lived alone a long time, took care of himself, was a good cook. But others needed him, even Hajime needed him. And he'd take care of people, save them, even if they insisted they didn't need saving. Because he'd made an oath, a pledge, and he would keep it.

--

Kenzaki stared after the SUV as Kotarou drove off with his older sister and niece. They'd been through a lot, being kidnapped by that Undead. But Hajime had been there, trying to save them.

A noise made him turn. Hajime. Didn't want to be seen, Kenzaki guessed. Hajime was changing, becoming more human, becoming more protective. Except maybe going about it the wrong way.

He had to make Hajime see that staying there, protecting them, making sure they stayed okay was the right thing to do. But as Hajime plodded onto his motorcycle, Kenzaki had to wonder if he would.

--

He had to wonder if he was betraying Kotarou and Kotarou's family by letting Hajime stay where he was at the restaurant. But Amane-chan adored Hajime, and her mother was just fine with him. To tell the truth would be to hurt them, and to hurt Hajime.

Because Hajime was trying, even if he wasn't human, to be human. To try to love. To protect. To be who he needed to be. And as Kenzaki tried to comfort Kotarou, he knew that he had betrayed Kotarou. But he hoped that in that betrayal, something good would come of it.

--

He remembered what it was like when he first came to BOARD. He'd been the new person. Tachibana had been Garren for a while, and Kenzaki was eager to please him and his new employer.

"I'm Garren, Tachibana Sakuya. Let's work together."

And so they had, until Tachibana had fallen apart, and BOARD had too, and nothing was left now except the memories. It hadn't been so bad when Tachibana was still a Rider, but now he wasn't. Kenzaki had the belt now, and he didn't know what to do with it.

Maybe Tachibana would see sense and come back.

--

Tachibana did come back, to tell them about the boy. Mutsuki. The highschooler. The wearer of the new belt, Isaka's new belt, that the Chief had warned them about.

But no matter how much Kenzaki had pleaded, Tachibana hadn't truly come back. He had only come to tell them about the new rider, warn them, give them a clue. It was obvious that Tachibana-san didn't feel worthy, not after what had happened to poor Sayoko-san and with Isaka, and Kenzaki couldn't make him change his mind.

But Kenzaki would. Someday. He'd get Tachibana to see he was needed.

--

Kenzaki hated to be hard on Mutsuki, but it was safer this way. The boy had no idea of how dangerous the Leangle Belt was, that he'd been attacking Kenzaki and Hajime. That the belt put him out of control.

Mutsuki had wanted to be stronger, save others. Kenzaki didn't blame him, didn't want to stop him from being strong, didn't want him to feel helpless like Kenzaki sometimes did. He'd seen the light in Mutsuki's eyes when he'd saved Mutsuki from the Lion Undead; he didn't want that light to go out, didn't want Mutsuki to be a killer.

--

Kotarou was in love. The fact that the writer had found somebody for him was great and Kenzaki wished him the best with a smile in his heart.

But there was an Undead after him too. Because he hung around Kenzaki, because he knew Riders. Because Kotarou was a convenient target, even indirectly.

There was little Kenzaki could do about it. He had to follow the same advice he'd given Hajime: Be near them, protect them. And he would follow that advice, keep Kotarou safe, keep the others safe. Because he was a Kamen Rider, and that's what he did.

--

Kenzaki watched Kotarou stumble off, still gasping for breath. At least the writer was safe; Hajime had saved Kotarou while Kenzaki was stuck fighting the goat Undead who had teamed up with Kotarou's supposed girlfriend.

He should have noticed something was up sooner with her. He should have realized that he had the wrong Undead. But he didn't, so Kotarou suffered. Kotarou nearly died, and so had he.

He was beginning to understand Hajime's reluctance to get involved; it was an easy road to take. But he couldn't take that road, he had to save the world. And he would.

--

Mutuski declared that it was his fate to be a Rider, to be "chosen" by his Category Ace. And Kenzaki had to admit that Mutsuki had been, much to their frustration. But he wanted Mutsuki to see it a different way, to see it as something not decreed by fate, but Mutsuki's choice to do. Because it was very easy to let fate carry one along; it was harder to break away.

And Mutsuki needed to break away, to not be the Ace's pawn, to save himself. To be the highschooler he'd once been.

If only Mutsuki could see that....

--

As he listened to Hajime's story, Kenzaki could only marvel at how Hajime was changing. Hajime obviously cherished the family that he lived with, Haruka-san and Amane-chan. He was starting to put their lives ahead of his own.

Oh, he didn't see it yet, Hajime didn't. He might not even acknowledge it when he did. But Kenzaki knew that Hajime would realize things eventually, would cherish his family like a human would, become attached like a human would. Because Hajime was becoming more human.

It was a good feeling. Very good.

Kenzaki smiled and went on his way.

--

Tachibana didn't believe like Kenzaki believed. Didn't understand that Hajime was changing, that Hajime was learning to love, that Hajime was different from the other Undead. Kenzaki could only frown and hope that Tachibana could see things the way that Kenzaki did, see the good in Hajime, instead of being so cynical.

Listening to Tachibana, it was so easy to doubt, to dismiss how Hajime acted as something owed to a man now dead. But Kenzaki didn't believe that. Hajime was changing, Hajime knew love, and Hajime would prove it to Tachibana one day.

All Kenzaki could do was wait.

--

He finally, finally understood.

As he faced the Elephant Undead, he understood what Shima-san had been saying. Yes, he'd hired on as a Rider because it was a job. But the true reason was quite different.

He loved people. He wanted to protect people, save their lives, just as he had saved the little girl's life. He wanted to be strong for other people. Not out of pride, or arrogance, or duty. He wanted people to smile just at Kotarou smiled and enjoy life just as he enjoyed life.

His eyes widened under the mask, and then he smiled.

--

When he listened to Shima-san, he understood why Shima-san wanted to take the risk. To save Mutsuki like so many other innocents he'd saved, to still have something of Mutsuki left before the Spider Undead consumed him completely.

But he didn't want to lose Shima-san. Shima-san was Undead, but Shima-san didn't want to destroy the world. Shima-san didn't want to fight.

But Shima-san was still willing to sacrifice, to see himself sealed in order to save Mutsuki. And Kenzaki didn't want to take that chance, to lose the most compassionate Undead of all.

--

He didn't want Hajime to be the Joker, the destroyer. He didn't really want to find out that the Undead he was trying to convince to get along with humans could be the cause of death of all of them, the one who would end everything.

But the bare facts, as Tachibana laid them out, were all too true. Hajime was the Joker. Hajime had the potential, the programming, the ability, to end everything.

But he wouldn't let Hajime destroy the world. He would save Hajime from himself. He'd save the world from Hajime. That's all there was to it.

--

It had taken hesitant Kotarou to remind him that he had to fight. Had taken Kotarou to remind him that Hajime was still his friend, and Hajime was captive. Hajime may have been meant to end the world, but Hajime was still Kenzaki's friend, even if the other man wouldn't acknowledge it.

So Kenzaki dashed out, aided by Shiori, and headed off to free him. Because he wasn't going to leave Hajime in the hands of that maddening undead, the one who had taken the pictures of Leangle and caused Shiori and Kotarou to be arrested. He would rescue him.

--

Kenzaki had been right; Hajime had become more human. And maybe Hajime finally trusted him, enough to tell his story.

He'd listened, fascinated, by what had happened. Hajime had sealed the Human Undead, and then became the Hajime that Kenzaki had met, grown into the Hajime that stood before him. Hajime admitted what had happened to him with some reluctance, but Kenzaki could only marvel that his friend had changed so much... and so fast, due to Human Undead. And if Kenzaki had his way, Hajime would continue to change. Not end the world. Kenzaki, standing there, silently swore it.

--

Hajime was reverting to Joker.

Kenzaki listened in horror as the high-level Undead in the red shirt - the Category King - told him of what was happening. The cards held the being he knew as Hajime together; Hajime was nothing without them.

So, to save Hajime he had to get those cards back. Had to. Hajime didn't deserve what was going on with him. He deserved to live in peace and he deserved to live whole.

So Kenzaki attacked the King. Went for the cards. Knew that if he didn't do something, Hajime would revert, and he would be lost.

--

Shiori was right. He was not a burden to them at all.

The others may have been targeted because he was around them, but they also relied on him. As he'd been taught in school, the group together was more important than the one person. He fought for them and in return, they were there for him. There to remind him of what he was fighting for. Reminders that he was fighting for something.

He needn't be afraid. He shouldn't run away. He was there to protect them, and they him, and he would do what he had to do.

--

"Be careful that I don't possess you like Leangle," the Category King had said, but Kenzaki knew he didn't have much of a choice in the matter. That strange Undead was rushing at him, going to kill him, and being possessed would be a small price to pay to save his life, if he had to do it.

But he hoped that he wouldn't get possessed, that his will would be strong enough, that he wouldn't be another Mutsuki, another hapless Undead pawn.

Taking a breath, hoping and hoping, he slid the King card down and prayed for the best.

--

Umi didn't understand. Didn't understand the need to save people, the need to make people safe. Sure, he couldn't save everybody, but at least he could save some people.

Where they'd both been helpless, she had turned bitter, and he had turned determined. She was what he could have been if he'd given up hope. But he hadn't given up hope, not at all, and he could still fight. He could still help others.

Even if they didn't always want to be helped.

He would help Umi as best he could, defeat the undead. He swore it. Swore it again.

--

He wasn't able to seal Hajime. Hajime had turned into a mindless beast, incapable of love, incapable of even recognizing Amane-chan, but Kenzaki was unable to seal him.

Memories flashed through his mind - memories of Hajime fighting, being annoying, being human. Saving people. Becoming human.

And then he remembered what Hajime had said. His new power was dangerous. His new power awakened Joker, took the being called Hajime out of control. Made his friend the beast he'd started out as, and made him the being that would end the world.

But Kenzaki still couldn't seal him, not at all.

--

He somehow knew where Hajime was, without asking Shiori for help. His body was changing, his instincts changing. The King wasn't precisely controlling him, but he was not the person he used to be.

The high-level female Undead had said that his power was close to Joker's. Shiori had told him that merging with the thirteen Undead was unheard of. Somehow, he was strange. Unique. Changing.

He walked through the woods, trusting his instincts to lead him to Hajime. Hoped he would find him in time. Apologize. Give him the cards.

Because Hajime deserved to be whole once more.

--

He would become Joker? Was his power that close to Hajime's?

But it made sense. He could sense Hajime. He was starting to sense Undead. He was becoming one of them in part, and it made sense that he could become one completely

He didn't know what to think about that. He didn't want to become Undead. He didn't want to change into Undead. But he was halfway there, and he might not have a choice.

Was this his fate? He hoped not. He didn't want to be Undead. He didn't want to become Hajime.

Did he have a choice?

--

He had to save Hajime, and the world.

To everybody else, those would seem to be contradictory, to him somewhat also, but he knew what he could do. It would defy all common sense, change him irrevocably, but he believed that Hajime had a right to the life that he'd started. A right to choose to be what he wanted to be.

And for Kenzaki, it was as simple as forcing himself to change. Forcing himself to become the Joker. He would change Hajime's fate by sacrificing his life, in a way. Because everybody had a right to defeat fate.